I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
