The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
