Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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