so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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