apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
