? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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