So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
