She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
