I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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