I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
