help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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