This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
