And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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