Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
