Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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