Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
