Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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