I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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