Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
