u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
