allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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