I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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