# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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