just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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