do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
