I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
