Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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