help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
