My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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