Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
