I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
