Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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