I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
