Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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