Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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