theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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