I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize