She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
