Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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