Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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