now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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