Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
