If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Umm I'm too high to move.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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