break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
