Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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