I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what day is it and did you see me today?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
