he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
