she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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