Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
