you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
