So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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