Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The Olympian is in my bed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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