im having a threesome with these popsicles
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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