I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
