Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
everyone is single if you try hard enough
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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