I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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