I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
